As the mother of a new high school student, I am very
interested in the trends and attitudes of high school students. The teen years are full of peer pressure and
new ideas. I worry about how the
attitudes of my teenager’s peers are influencing him. That along with the influence of social media
should concern all of us. Our teenagers
are being bombarded by things that are not real. One look at celebrity Instagram accounts
shows smiling celebrities with their latest flame or highlighting how cute they
look with that baby bump or which celebrity couple has just announced their
divorce. One of the networks whose shows
primarily target teens and young adults has had a series of shows called 16 and
pregnant. While these shows exploit the
troubles these teens and their children’s fathers have, the fact that they are
famous makes them influential especially to teenagers. While the media create a dramatic story, they
fail to show us the emotional cost of numerous partners children born to single
mothers (even rich ones) and divorces.
Again, our teenagers are being influenced by a picture that isn’t real.
When High school seniors were asked how important
Marriage and a good family were to them, about 80% of girls and 72% of boys
said that it was, “extremely important” to them in the future. Even with this being extremely important to
them, only 1/3 of girls and slightly more boys agreed with the statement, “Most
people will have fuller and happier lives if they choose legal marriage rather
than staying single or just living with someone”.
Why is there a disconnect between what high school
teens consider extremely important to them and that marriage is the key to
living a fuller and happier life, when compared to staying single or
cohabiting? Another place where their
opinions seem to be disconnected with what is extremely important to them is that
of out of wedlock births. At least 50%
of those surveyed believed that an out of wedlock birth was a “worthwhile
lifestyle” for other people. Research shows that the children raised in single
parent families have negative outcomes at 2 to 3 times the rate of children in
married two parent homes. I believe that
the consumption of social media is at least partly to blame for the disconnect
between what is real, which is the difficulty for both the child and the single
mother, and what they are seeing on celebrity sites and accounts. Their accounts are edited to show us only the
happiest, parts of their lives not the normal uninteresting sometimes difficult
parts of being a human being.
If the up and coming generation wants happy stable
marriages, how do we, as a society help them when the other ideas that they
consider worthwhile, lead them to a road that takes them from marriage and a
good family? I believe we need to take measures to promote
marriage as a means to a healthier and happier and REAL adult life. Rather than emphasizing sex education as part
of the health curriculum in most high schools, we should also have a section on
emotional health and how to communicate effectively in family relationships and
why that is vital to mental health.
I heard a sociologist speak who created a non profit
organization to help promote responsible fatherhood in urban, inner
cities. Hi purpose was to educate young
fathers that their role as the father, in their children’s lives can help their
children to succeed in life simply by being present and a part of their lives. Among some of the problems facing these young
men, who want what is best for their children, was the fact that they had never
seen modeled a stable relationship. They
had never seen the skills modeled that enabled them to stay in a relationship
and work out their difficulties with their children’s mothers. These are the skills that teenagers need to
be learning and developing.
According to “The state of our Unions”, If family
fragmentation were reduced by 1%, US taxpayers would save about $1.1 billion
annually. That money could be wisely
spent on measures that actually teach skills that lend to better marriages and
more stable families. “Even small
changes will reduce suffering for children and their families.” (Union)
