Marriage and a good family are extremely important to high school teens.

As the mother of a new high school student, I am very interested in the trends and attitudes of high school students.  The teen years are full of peer pressure and new ideas.  I worry about how the attitudes of my teenager’s peers are influencing him.  That along with the influence of social media should concern all of us.  Our teenagers are being bombarded by things that are not real.  One look at celebrity Instagram accounts shows smiling celebrities with their latest flame or highlighting how cute they look with that baby bump or which celebrity couple has just announced their divorce.  One of the networks whose shows primarily target teens and young adults has had a series of shows called 16 and pregnant.  While these shows exploit the troubles these teens and their children’s fathers have, the fact that they are famous makes them influential especially to teenagers.  While the media create a dramatic story, they fail to show us the emotional cost of numerous partners children born to single mothers (even rich ones) and divorces.  Again, our teenagers are being influenced by a picture that isn’t real.

When High school seniors were asked how important Marriage and a good family were to them, about 80% of girls and 72% of boys said that it was, “extremely important” to them in the future.  Even with this being extremely important to them, only 1/3 of girls and slightly more boys agreed with the statement, “Most people will have fuller and happier lives if they choose legal marriage rather than staying single or just living with someone”.

Why is there a disconnect between what high school teens consider extremely important to them and that marriage is the key to living a fuller and happier life, when compared to staying single or cohabiting?  Another place where their opinions seem to be disconnected with what is extremely important to them is that of out of wedlock births.  At least 50% of those surveyed believed that an out of wedlock birth was a “worthwhile lifestyle” for other people. Research shows that the children raised in single parent families have negative outcomes at 2 to 3 times the rate of children in married two parent homes.  I believe that the consumption of social media is at least partly to blame for the disconnect between what is real, which is the difficulty for both the child and the single mother, and what they are seeing on celebrity sites and accounts.  Their accounts are edited to show us only the happiest, parts of their lives not the normal uninteresting sometimes difficult parts of being a human being. 

If the up and coming generation wants happy stable marriages, how do we, as a society help them when the other ideas that they consider worthwhile, lead them to a road that takes them from marriage and a good family?   I believe we need to take measures to promote marriage as a means to a healthier and happier and REAL adult life.  Rather than emphasizing sex education as part of the health curriculum in most high schools, we should also have a section on emotional health and how to communicate effectively in family relationships and why that is vital to mental health. 

I heard a sociologist speak who created a non profit organization to help promote responsible fatherhood in urban, inner cities.  Hi purpose was to educate young fathers that their role as the father, in their children’s lives can help their children to succeed in life simply by being present and a part of their lives.  Among some of the problems facing these young men, who want what is best for their children, was the fact that they had never seen modeled a stable relationship.  They had never seen the skills modeled that enabled them to stay in a relationship and work out their difficulties with their children’s mothers.  These are the skills that teenagers need to be learning and developing. 

According to “The state of our Unions”, If family fragmentation were reduced by 1%, US taxpayers would save about $1.1 billion annually.  That money could be wisely spent on measures that actually teach skills that lend to better marriages and more stable families.  “Even small changes will reduce suffering for children and their families.” (Union)