I've never heard of a man being shot by his wife while doing the dishes...

I once heard a lecture on the story in the New Testament of the Savior and the woman taken in adultery.  The lecturer said, the terms that the Savior used to address the woman, “woman” were terms of utmost respect used to address royalty.  Now, certainly this woman had done things that were not respectable, and the Savior didn’t address her that way because she was a respected woman.  He addressed her that way because he was good.  We don’t treat someone with respect because they deserve it, (although everyone deserves respect simply because they are a human being) but because of the kind of person that we are.  The Savior treated her with utmost respect because he was good not because she was good. 

I think when we are trying to emotionally connect with our spouses, we treat them lovingly even when they are not being very lovable, we give them support even when they are not being very supportive.  If our relationship is based on traditional marriage vows or covenants, we have covenanted to stay connected not because they deserve it all the time but because we’ve covenanted to do just that, STAY CONNECTED. 

One of my favorite refrigerator magnets was a picture of a man doing the dishes, the caption said, “I’ve never heard of a man being shot by his wife while doing the dishes.”  While that is kind of funny and probably true, there is so much more going on if a husband is willing to do the dishes simply because he wants to make his wife’s life easier and in a real way, connect with her.  On the flip side of that, a man rarely has left his family when he is appreciated and validated for his hard work and devotion to his family. 

We all need to feel appreciated and validated.  Each one of us feels those things in a different way.  The exciting part of being married is that you get to discover what it is that makes your spouse feel connected to you, you get to explore what helps you feel connected to your spouse.  There are somethings that will be obvious and other things that will be a mystery to uncover.  The fun is in figuring each other out emotionally.    When that happens, you are on your way to a real life happily ever after.